Seriously though, what are sisters for???

Okay, before I write my post, I'd just like to leave a link on the earthquake in haiti. http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/americas/01/15/haiti.earthquake/index.html?hpt=T1

---




Anyway, I've noticed, after moving to Michigan, that not many siblings hangout together. I mean, maybe they do at home. But out publicly, with friends, it's like sisters don't know each other. I don't understand this dynamic. But similarly, people don't understand the dynamic between me and my sister (or even my brother have, here in Michigan).


I grew up in a society or a culture, where siblings hung out together with their friends. So, my friends and my sister and her friends would hangout, some of which would bring their siblings (or cousins) along with them. So, you have a group of people hanging out, anywhere between the ages of 12 and 30.

I noticed that in the metro Detroit area, no siblings (or very few) actually know each others friends, let alone hang out with them. And I'll be honest, I have nooooo idea who my brother's friends are after moving here... They'll come over, go straight into his room (which is like 2 feet from mine) and never even tell me their names. I DON'T KNOW THERE NAMES!!! and I find this phenomenon very SCARY!

I mean, think of it from my perspective, my brother's friends were close enough to be my friends, same with my sister's friends, same with my friends to their friends and so on. We were essentially one big "happy" family. Okay, not quite, of course every group of friends has their drama, but we actually hung out.

Now, people keep remarking on how weird/interesting (great how those are interchangeable, huh?) my sister and I are. That we have an interesting sibling dynamic. I'll be honest, I love my sister. I love her as a best friend, as a sibling, as a role model, and as an artist. I am not embarrassed to hang out with her, or my (really embarrassing) brother.

Anyway, it just bugs me how people don't treat their family as worthy to have fun, outside of those 'family activities'. So, the following is a list of why siblings and friends should mix:

1- The mix of ages. This will cause a natural peer mentoring system, where youngsters will be influenced by the elders. This may have negative effects, but in my experience, it's been more positive. So, my friend's cousins who are like 12 have been really influenced by us. Similarly, it taught us (college-aged folk) to truly respect and value the younger ones.

2- The mix of genders. Honestly, not many muslims know how to interact with the 'opposite' gender because they come from a cultural norm where we should be 'separate' but 'equitable'. I feel like, when you have that mix of friends, with your siblings involved, you learn how to interact comfortably, without any stigma (or "God forbid" reputation lashing from the community).

3- Group dynamic skills. Okay, don't laugh at me, but seriously, all you 'single sibling-ed' people, will learn how to be around more people. But, most importantly, you develop a group that you feel you may belong to, that hopefully, isn't discriminatory against age, race, or gender. As well as, you learn to interact with people beyond the mere 'tit-for-tat' experience.

4- Memories. I'm sorry Michiganders who have not yet adopted this pro-sibling lifestyle, but you will have the greatest memories with your friends. Because, your relationship cannot be superficial due to so many familial connections. And due to that, you have so much fun doing absolutely nothing, except pulling out like 2 decks of cards and playing SPOONS with 15 people.

5- Family becomes fun. So, if you're stuck with those boring parents, or boring siblings, you have a model of what kind of fun you can have with your families. You also, learn how to interact better with your own family. Watching my friends interact with their families, made me understand my own familial relationships so much better. Anyway, if you wanna get away at 2 o'clock in the morning, all you need to tell your parents is "ROUBA IS COMING WITH ME" and "WE'RE GOING TO FATIMA'S HOUSE TILL FAJR, ALL HER COUSINS ARE THERE"... so, you have an easy get away, with a family member in tow.



Well, those were only 5, but this post is now getting lengthy.
So, my recommendation is... Stop hating on me and my buddy buddy family, and start hanging out with yours (publicly, with friends). So, if you're going bowling with your friends, invite your mom's (or if you're still reserved about that, your sisters) along. At first, it maybe awkward, but later on, you really look back and think, wow, I did things right.

a new year?

Salam,
so it's a new year. One filled with so much potential. So much energy. just SO MUCH.

And it scares me. That the end of our last year in the first 2000 decade, we had to witness acts of extremism.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8437496.stm
It fills me with such regret, not because I had anything to do with it, but that our society could let something so scary slip under its radar. Granted, the plane hadn't taken off in America, that it wasn't the rigid American security system that this man went through, but that's not what I mean. How can our youth, both muslim and non-muslim, develop these extremist tendencies? Now, I know this man, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, 23 years old, was not born and raised in the United States, but he did go through a european education system, he did come to the unites states for some time. Why are our youth being corrupted into extremist action and dialogue?
Really, just think about it?
We are facing two REAL issues:
The first is, there are extremists out there, both in the physical world, as well as the world of the internet.
The second is, there are fake extremists being planted by the government into our communities, to incite our youth into extremism.

We really need to address these issues.
My advice is this, and given that I am a young adult with no real experience in parenting, it's up to our parents.
Our parents REALLY need to be involved in the lives of their youth. They truly need to become their influence. If the parents are not involved with their kids, then the kids are just gonna find some other outlet of attention, respect, and love. Frequently in the last decade or so, the internet, video games, movies and the entertainment industry has filled this void. Parents can't connect to their children. Please, YOUTH can no longer connect to one another! But, essentially, what I am saying is: Parents, be involved with the youth. That doesn't mean start spying on them. Or being super micro-managers. It means, truly be there for them, and understand that their time is different than yours.

Young adults, and I mean between the ages of 30-45, you really need to connect to the younger folk as well. You are now well on your way to being professionals. Your personal life may not be at stake, but our society is at large. Do take the time to connect with the younger generation. You need to bridge that gap between them and their parents. You need to be INVOLVED. Think about your tiny baby and 2 decades from now.... do you really think it'll be you raising that child alone? Or does society have a play on things.

The second issue... well it's clear, we need to be vocal about these extremist plants that the government is using. Talk to your local civil rights organization. They will no what to tell you. Call MAS Freedom, or CAIR, or the ACLU, or the NAACP. They all know what I am talking about. This is an issue that has been around, before the immigrant muslim community got here (i.e. the United States).

Finally, I'd like to say, that we voted for change in 2008. But we need to understand that change comes from each individual actively changing. The Quran says “Truly, God does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” (Quran 13:11). Regardless of whether you're a muslim, atheist, hindu, sik, christian, diest, jew, or any other religion/lack there of, you need to understand that the aforementioned statement is true. Change cannot come, until change is done from within. We really need to change.

So, now, we are beginning a new year and a new decade. Think about what small changes you can do within this year. And really, TRULY, think about what changes you think you can make in the next decade. What will 2020 look like?

I'll stop here, and I hope that we can combat extremism through advocating for moderation. Oh artists of the world, professionals, teachers, parents, stay-at-home moms/homemakers, secretaries, soldiers, freedom fighters, feminists, advocates, and everything between the youngest of young and the oldest of old, regardless of profession, PLEASE make CHANGE for the better your motto.

I pray for peace, forgiveness, tranquility, sincerity, and success for the human community.

peace
-reem

peace, gym, eating, employees, & empathy

Okay, I am annoyed... for a number of things...
they are, in no specific order:
1- Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize... for "extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and co-operation between peoples".
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8405959.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8405033.stm
I mean, sure he's doing the best that he can, but I feel like something like that needs measurable outcomes. I want to see results. I'm sorry, I just can't help feeling like he's getting rewarded a bit too early... how about 18 months from now?

2- Can't a girl (albiet a muslim girl) go to the gym in peace? (what is it with peace today). Seriously, okay. So, I go to the gym, and this guy comes up to me all cocky and was like "aren't you not allowed to go to the gym in your religion?".... I looked at him... Really trying to absorb his comment... I mean seriously??? First of all, there's an all women's section, which I'll be honest I rarely use, because I feel the walls closing in on me. But, secondly, back off! REALLY?
So, basically, I smiled and was like, actually, my religion believes in physical development as well as spiritual development. Therefore, if we do not ensure our health, we are breaking a covenant with God, in which he entrusted our bodies to us. Then, I was like, you know, with the right intention, well, I'm actually performing a form of worship, so I get brownie points with God. He eyed me all skeptically. Then he was like, but what about the..... *motions frantically around my head*... and I smile again, yes my 'oh so beautiful and understanding smile' and was like... "I'm in baggy sweats, an overly large t-shirt, a hijab. The point of hijab is both physical and spiritual, to cover and be modest. Do I look like I'm flaunting my goods?", he laughed at that. I guess not many hijabi's (girls who wear the scarf), talk like that.
Anyway, he smiled at me, all confused like, and was like, 'I guess I understand'. So I smiled back and was like 'well, I hope to see you around, since I'm at the gym all the time'.
Technically, this was a good 'dawah' (literally means invitation, but basically, information sharing) experience. However, it annoys me, when people assume all this stuff about me, just because I wear a hijab. And I know I'm not the 'victimitis' type, but really back off. I mean, how would people like it if I questioned their beliefs all the time? I guess it comes with being so 'openly' muslim. Maybe, one day, we can break down stereotypes and truly accept people for who they are. (regardless of religion, sex, gender, age, and RACE)

3- Some guy watched me eat an apple today... It was, honestly, a very large apple. It annoyed me... That he was watching me... so I stared back at him. Until he, yes, blushed, and turned away.

4- People do not appreciate employees enough. I was at McDonalds to buy a coffee this morning (on campus), and the workers were sooooo sweet. I just wished they had a tip jar. I swear, people underestimate the value of a sincere thank you. One with eye contact and a smile, attached to it. I've worked in the service industry for about 7 years now, and my best moments were those sincere *thank you's*. They literally make me feel so happy and elated that it moves me to work harder. I hope people should really take a moment and truly thank the person that is serving them, regardless of how hectic of a day you've had.

5- Lack of empathy. I was listening to the news yesterday (NPR) and they were talking about how so many families have been legitly (like not scams) begging online, especially for gifts for the holidays.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=121211164
Apparently, very few have received responses. I've been looking online for some lists, one of which is http://begslist.blogspot.com/. I've decided to go on a mission and look for someone to sponsor for the holiday. I mean, send some toys or clothes. Some people have specific children clothes' sizes. I think we should really feel for them. How would you feel if you couldn't get a loved one something during the holidays. I frequently buy my mom chocolate randomly for suprises, because she loves it, and I'd feel like there would be a hole in my chest, tearing at me if I couldn't get her that. I don't know. There are things like Toys for Tots (i think it's called) and other organizations around that you could support. Please, just buy 1 toy and donate it. Toys are very very cheap sometimes (you can find something from $1-$1,000), so don't think you can't afford it. I mean, go to the dollar store, if you're on a tight budget, but make a child happy this holiday. May a family feel secure, with being able to provide gifts for their children.

I guess that's about it.
Sincerely,
reem

Troops should stay at home

I'm sitting on campus, and have been here since about 7am.... doing pretty much nothing... well, other than literary research on Dubois. Anyhow, I keep thinking about how Obama stated he'll be sending 30,000 troops to Afghanistan. I just can't grasp why we are going to endager the lives of 30,000 individuals, and essentially respective families... in the name of democracy and ensuring stability. I feel like we are enhancing instability within the United States of America, by letting our troops go to fight a war overseas. Our troops are children, college students, fathers, mothers, elders, youngsters, the people who make up the fabric of American society. We are threatening the stability of their lives.
According to the Washington Post, we have had 804 soldiers die in Afghanistan, (not to mention the 4,326 who died in Iraq, totaling to 5,130 just in those two countries alone):
http://projects.washingtonpost.com/fallen/afghanistan/

I mean, think of it, 804 troops out of 3000, that's like what 26%, more than 1/4th of our troops may die. Consider the very basic math that I did. But really, I mean do we want to lose another 804 troops.... Do we really want to lose ONE? I mean, do value human life so lowly nowaday? Is the stability of the household maintain, when the father/mother/daughter/son is lost? I think factors of psychological, economic, social, political, and physical instability arise from the death of one person.

I really really urge President Obama to reconsider the sending of our troops to Afghanistan. Where seeking out Al-Qaeda is like fencing in the dark... It's a game of Hide-N-Seek, where we're blindfolded and earplugged.

Our troops should be protecting our people at home. I mean, The CDC estimated a total of 52,447 deiberan gunshot injuries and 23,237 in the year 2000 alone.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gun_violence_in_the_United_States
MADD states that 11,773 people have died in illegal BAC drunk driving crashes in 2008.
http://www.madd.org/about-us/about-us/statistics.aspx

The CDCP states that moer than 22,000 lives were lost due to OD-ing in 2005.
http://www.cdc.gov/media/subtopic/sme/paulozzi.htm

So, we're just going to be sending our troops to fight a shadowy cause, yet our issues at home are left undiscussed, undiscovered, and unsolved.

I don't know what to say... No, actually I do.... Keep our troops safe. Keep stability within the United States. Fight the injustice that plagues us at home, needless deaths, crime, poverty, homelessness and the like. Let's value the sanctity of human life. Don't send out troops to fight for a borderless and timeless war.

That's all I have to say really.

Feel free to comment.
sincerely,
reem

DAMNED FOR RACISM

I keep thinking lately about you know, philosophical things, well not quite philosophical, but you know... things that are just not truly thought about quite often enough. The concept of freedom. I don't know, maybe it's because I read Du Bois all the time for my research, or maybe it's because I'm sensitive on the issue of racial equality (as in, who the hell do you think you are if you think you're better than people, we're all from the same source)... And it's been bugging me more and more.... Racism... hurts me... internally. :s and people sometimes think it's odd, given that i am (according to wikipedia) white (because I'm you know, from the mideast), that I notice these things.... or feel them. I don't know, maybe I'm just emotional. But yesterday, the issue of race came up multiple times. And I just kept thinking.... why the hell do we (as a society) focus soooo much on race (as being like a definition of who one is)????
In Islam, we believe that ORIGINAL SIN, wasn't Eve eating the apple (Adam and Eve both made the mistake equally), but that Lucifer refused God's command of respect to Adam by bowing to him, on the basis of Adam being made of the Earth and Lucifer of fire. Essentially, original sin is arrogance, but more specifically a racial arrogance. Because you're made of something different, and more to the point look different....
Therefore, the next time you're being racist, biased, or stereotyping, or someone does this in your presence.... you're committing ORIGINAL SIN.... :s and i mean, if Lucifer was damned from the beginning, what'll happen to us?
So, essentially, it's up to you. You decide whether you want to be damned for life (or eternity) or not...
Next time someone does something racist in front of you.... just remember, you're just as damned as he/she is, because SILENCE IS CONSENT.... and you choose to be silent...

Anyway, this is a poem i wrote.... comment away, on anything, it's called:
I kept thinking

I keep thinking that today will start
but it won't end
and text messages on my cell
just won't send
I see the world tipping at a different bend
and i just can't help having to fend
for everyone... but myself
no... yes... maybe I can
but whatever, because
I'm at the end
of my thoughts
free will feels like a a road block
and well, I can't help but to think
that someone else should make decisions for me
no... wait...
I need to make choices
i need to be given choices
what happened to equal opportunity
can I speak, without being free?
am I free?
What is freedom anyway?
elusive as it is, dressed in a cloud of grey...
I think I found the weakest link
in my chain... of thoughts
because they've been derailed
to a place often visited
caged mindset, silent birds
what can I say to make us feel anchored?
infront of me is haze, my view is blurred
by biases... socially constructed hazards
instructed to become masters
in the art of lying
no... dying.... rather sighing
out of discontent
because we've been conditioned
to acquiesce to nothing
to everything but our souls
and I'm trying to figure out how it all unfolds
because the choice is there
we just need to get a hold
of reality
of our choices
and now...
I keep thinking that today will start
but it won't end
and text messages on my cell
just won't send
I see the world tipping at a different bend
that I was angling for
so... I'm gonna jump and scream
till the world leans...
just a fraction in my direction
until then...
the world is hovering
just an inch
beyond
our decisions

when i'm 30, iA

So, I just came across (or was encouraged to read... however put):
http://reinventingsandyb.wordpress.com/the-list/
and
http://symphonic-discord.blogspot.com/2009/11/my-list.html
which is essentially a list of things a friend wants to do before the time she's 30 years old.... She wrote this 4 years ago...
I decided, I'll make a list too... maybe in 8 years at least 1/10th would be completed...iA

1- To memorize the Quran with understanding
2- To finish one of my many novels, and actually get it published
3- To teach 5 people tajweed
4- To teach at Harvard University, Ancient Political Thought as well as Feminist Political Theory
5- To walk from Detroit to Boston
6- To go back packing in Europe
7- To learn french, german, spanish, urdu, persian, hebrew, and japanese. (at least to just speak)
8- To run 15 miles in one day
9- To spend a day without worries
10- To own a drink shop, and make EVERYTHING but in 'virgin'
11- To publish a poetry chap book
12- To get onto DEF Poetry
13- To learn how to 'TRULY' break dance
14- To marry a man who can supply me with a life time support of diet creme soda and twizzlers
15- to accept myself
16- to get an ijaza in memorization and tajweed
17- to run the boston/detroit marathon
18- to ride a horse, camel, and a mustang (the car)
19- to send out anonymous letters to all my loved ones now, in 8 years.
20- to record a spoken word CD
21- to learn how to perfect the art of Good rice
22- to keep in contact with my cousin in syria
23- to become a political analyst for BBC or Aljazeera
24- to translate a book of Nizar Qabani's Poetry into english
25- to go on a REAL cruise
26- to relearn history
27- to learn to FOCUS
28- to live by what I truly believe in
29- to truly believe in something without doubts or worries
30- to build some self esteem.

I know... wow... I wonder how much you learned about me.... :s

Anyway, that's about it...
salam
-reem

how would you feel?

Today, I was thinking about how musicians are so oblivious of their fans. Like, the true impact they have on their following. I go into phases where I will listen to the same band over and over again, until I feel like their music is my music. Until their lyrics are my thoughts. Till their emotions become my own. I feel like I have a personal connection with them. It scared me, my realization of this. I kept thinking about how, someone's voice, a voice that I listen to multiple times daily, has no idea I listen to them, unless I choose to become stalker-ish and join a fan club. But honestly, it scared me. Lately, I've been thinking about writing some songs, probably a mix between punk/emo/rock/rap.
I know, I know... different genres, but the question is.... Would people even listen to it? Would my words affect someone, as much as Billy Talent, The Offspring, Rise Against, Maroon 5, Nirvana, BareNakedLadies, Garbage, Evanascence, Breaking Benjamin or Hawthorne Heights affects me? Sometimes, I feel like, do they know that their music builds upon my soul, wraps around my heart, and filters through my thoughts? Would I ever be able to accomplish that? Not that I'm a good singer at all (haha, I suck like whoa), but imagine hearing your own voice on the radio, and thinking that your voice, without you knowing is playing in someone elses head.... not your own.... That your thoughts have been publically announced to everyone in the world you can buy you. You've been bought.... Aren't words supposed to be free ?
Isn't that another discussion completely? I mean, it's one thing to have someone hear you when you don't want them to, but to have your intimate emotions bought. I mean, as a poet (if i can call myself one, i don't think i've earned that title yet), I like my thoughts getting across to people for free (obviously, unless there is an open mic fee), but then, how do you support your art? Hand out free CD's? Uhhhhh, no. Hi, might I remind you that I'm broke.... How about load music/poems onto your Facebook/myspace page.... but then you remember that no one ever accesses your page...
Back to my original point.... I can't imagine a person listening to me whenever they wanted to, without asking me.... Someone subscribing to my most intimate emotions, without my ever being aware....
So I ask this.... Oh Artists of the World.... how does it feel, when someone out there, knows exactly how you felt, but you don't know who it is? How does it feel, to know that someone loves you (your work), but that love is unrequited...?
The question burns down to.... How does it feel, knowing that someone knows your deepest emotion, but you've never even met the person, let alone spoke to them, for them to get to know you well enough, to know your deeper emotions?