Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Grandfathers and oral history

Good Afternoon,

As a precursor to this post, I unfortunately come with bad news. My grandfather passed away today, to God we belong and to God we will return.

I am taking an oral history class, and every time I read any assignments or even think about the class, I think about my grandfather. So, I don't know, if him being on my mind for the last 2-3 weeks should have flashed signals in my head or it was just by coincidence.

Why oral history and why my grandfather? Well, he was one of the best storytellers ever, as well as the most influential man I have ever met. I think I've posted about him twice in this blog before, but to tell you about him, he was a man who went to work daily at the age of 92. He maintained his physical fitness to the best of his ability, and continued to exercise up until his 90's. Although he didn't formally study religion, he was a scholar, he knew so much on the differing opinions of different sects and so forth. He was an optimist, as well as down to earth when it came to the human condition. He love his human brethren and tried to do his best by them. This is not a bias as his granddaughter, but rather, the view almost EVERYONE who ever meets him has.

From what my grandmother told us, he died immediately after completing maghrib (sunset) prayer. He had just finished prayer and serenely passed away. Muslims always wish for that type of death, one where they are closest to God spiritually, and physically (through actions, such as prayer).

I committed a grave injustice by not recording his stories and experiences in life. He was a man who lived against the odds, driven by self-determination and faith. Nevertheless, he was never arrogant. He was a man, who upon reading a book, he would underline passages, just in case his grandchildren one day came across it from his collection of books, just so that it would trigger thought and intelligence. He encouraged us to fulfill our goals to the best of our ability, even if it seemed at odds with our parents (but to maintain that loving and respectful relationship). He argued that age is nothing but a number, you are never too young (when giving me advise), not ever too old (when talking about himself). His life was filled with incidents of trials, challenges, hopes, fears, odds, self-will, and figures who tried to force him away from his personal goals.

He lived during the French occupation, the coup de tats of syria, and onward. He'll tell you stories of World War I (even though it was just before his birth) and World War II, bringing in the perspective of the middle east. My grandfather blamed no one, but the self. Meaning, if people were true to themselves, the world would change to the better.

He studied by street lamp, due to the extreme poverty that he grew up in with a single widowed mother in the early 1920-30's. He worked full time to support his family from elementary age, as well as went to school at night to challenge his mind, when his uncles wanted him to just work for them. He was one of the top students in his class, only because of his personal will to succeed.

My grandfather, had his grandchildren truly taken the time to listen to him and document his life, lived the life of a true revolutionary. He inspired positive change, in every person who met him, both in the public and in the private life. He was a public speaker in his younger years (30-40's), and became more of a private man, in his elder (70's-80's), giving advice to his children and grandchildren. He was a humble man, who was content with whatever God had allotted him for his material life, but always wanted more out of spirituality and mental development. He was all about educating and challenging the mind (much like Dubois). He lived under colonialism as well as independence, and saw the various parallels of the worlds however intertwined.

I had a goal 2 years ago to write a book about his life and experiences. I know what he has told me, and will try to the best of my ability to recall all of those amazing details. I intend to write a book dedicated to a man who changed his society, without being a public image or face. I hope all those who were influenced by him, will be willing to share their experiences, thoughts, reactions, and beliefs about him. I know, that without a doubt, he impacted his grandchildren more than anyone else in the world. So many of us, especially those living in America, lived in a world of bias, that elders in the Middle East were backwards. But my grandfather was more modern in thought, more knowledgeable, and more charismatic than any modern theorist. We went overseas (the american/french grandchildren), and listened to his stories in SHOCK, realizing that our lives were a joke, in comparison to his. That real struggle comes from within, and manifests externally. That we inherited the experiences of a man of a legacy, that we should carry on within us, document for our future generations in the United States, and live by his amazing example. I do not advocate for the idolization of my grandfather, nor do I advocate that we blindly follow him. But I do think we need to respect and consider his main principles in life: self-education, empowerment, spirituality, activism, and social-change.

sincerely,
reem abou

Thursday, September 9, 2010

fathers and daughters

Good morning,

If you know me, then you know that I read Dubois... A LOT. Yes, I am addicted to his works, I haven't gotten many secondary documents, but I read as much as I can get. Often, when he is talked about, we see him as a socio-political figure, and often forget that he was a husband and a father as well.

I have been reading his correspondence and I came across a beautifully written letter to his daughter, who was studying away at school. It is amazing and inspiring, and you can see the respect he holds for his daughter as well as excitement towards her future. He has confidence in her, and encourages to adopt confidence in herself.

Now-a-day, our daughters are so confused, and have major identity and self-esteem problems because they do not have a very interactive role with their fathers. This is not their fault, but the fault of the fathers who were and are supposed to be more present in their upbringing. One reason why many girls have no true self-worth of themselves, is because their fathers don't often encourage them to find within themselves that self worth. They need a sense of acceptance from both their parents, and especially from their fathers. Because of that lack of encouragement, many girls just hop from one guy to the next to find validation, but don't realize that you need to find that validation from within yourself, and your parents should be the people helping you discover that. Fathers do play a critical role in helping develop the psyche of their daughters. If daughters don't gain true active acceptance and communication from their fathers, they will seek it out in other male figures, leaching onto the male figure and attributing their worth to that man, rather than their selves.

Anyway, the letter is from "The Correspondence of W.E.B. Dubois, Volume 1 Selections 1877-1934" Edited by Herbert Aptheker, page 207-208
http://www.umass.edu/umpress/fall_97/dubois.html

New York, October 29, 1914

Dear Little Daughter:

I have waited for you to get well settled before writing. By this time I hope some of the strangeness has worn off and that my little girl is working hard and regularly.


Of course, everything is new and unusual. You miss the newness and smartness of America. Gradually, however, you are going to sense the beauty of the old world: its calm and eternity and you will grow to love it.

Above all remember, dear, that you have a great opportunity. You are in one of the world's best schools, in one of the world's greatest modern empires. Millions of boys and girls all over this world would give almost anything they possess to be where you are. You are there by no desert or merit of yours, but only by lucky chance.

Deserve it, then. Study, do your work. Be honest, frank and fearless and get some grasp of the real values of life. You will meet, of course, curious little annoyances. People will wonder at your dear brown and the sweet crinkley hair. But that simply is of no importance and will be soon forgotten. Remember that most folk laugh at anything unusual whether it is beautiful, fine or not.
You, however, must not laugh at yourself. You must know that brown is as pretty as white or prettier and crinkley hair as straight even though it is harder to comb. The main thing is the YOU beneath the clothes and skin—the ability to do, the will to conquer, the determination to understand and know this great, wonderful, curious world. Don't shrink from new experiences and custom. Take the cold bath bravely. Enter into the spirit of your big bed-room. Enjoy what is and not pine for what is not. Read some good, heavy, serious books just for discipline: Take yourself in hand and master yourself. Make yourself do unpleasant things, so as to gain the upper hand of your soul.

Above all remember: your father loves you and believes in you and expects you to be a wonderful woman.

I shall write each week and expect a weekly letter from you.

Lovingly yours,
Papa

Thursday, August 19, 2010

who controls you??

Good Morning,
Instead of doing the much needed, much procrastinated, research that I have to do today, I am on my blogspot writing this post... I AM TICKED! Really, annoyed by something that hasn't to do with me a bit, but when I saw it, it makes me furious:

Girl on facebook "<3" as status
Boy on facebook "who's the lucky man?"

WHAT THE HECK!!!! WHY IS IT THAT GUYS SEEM TO DICTATE OUR HAPPINESS!!! Really, truly, unequivocally that's a load of poop!


(okay, girls stink too sometimes, because they essentially do the same exact things)

Our happiness comes from discovering our selves, through discovering our God. Now, I'm not talking about solely the Islamic perspective or other monotheistic perspectives, but in general. People who find out who they truly are, and their place in the world are the most happy. Now, why is it AUTOMATICALLY assumed that when a girl has <3 as her status, it is referring to a guy in some way or another...

For me, it most likely is referring to a type of food, a friend, or a state of mind. And that's exactly what's wrong with us today... WHERE ARE OUR MINDS???

They are constantly tied to the 'other sex' (well, sometimes it's the same-sex, but that's beyond the point). I mean really, is it because we have no true understanding of who we are, and what our purpose in life is? I mean, I understand that sex is essentially for procreation and whatever, but why can't we see beyond it?

Now-a-day, pre-teen girls are getting pregnant, pre-teen boys are fathering children, and they have no comprehension of responsibility... Furthermore, they barely have any true role-models, because all the older people '20's-30's' are similarly pre-occupied....

We really need to change the way we think... We need to be true to ourselves... Sure, Freud and Erickson have some interesting theories about child development and sex, but we really really need to focus on ourselves and not the other.

Now, that may sound selfish.... but it's the truth.

It comes down to: Who controls you (your mind)? boys? girls? sex-drives? Because, now a day, it seems like those 3 options (boys, girls, sex-drives) are the leading issues... and that shouldn't be the case. How is society going to progress if people are so focused on carnal desires?

My question is this:

Who are you? What makes you, you? and What's your goal in life, other than like 'going to heaven and so forth'?

Me, I am a human being. I am me because I truly believe in being myself and no one else... My goal in life is to help harness the strengths of other individuals around me, help eradicate their weaknesses, and help them discover the power of their minds and influence. Finally, help them realize the 'other' perspective and the need for empathy in order to move the world forward.

peace

Friday, August 13, 2010

[ram-uh-dahn]





Happy Ramadan o.O
It is officially the 3rd day of the month of ramadan. A month in which muslims all over the globe fast from dawn to sunset. Basically, we eat, drink, and consume nothing during that time. There are other aspects, where we try and be a bit more spiritual, we work towards becoming better individuals... essentially it's FAITH boot camp.

Enough about the dry facts, now to the emotional kicking and screaming....
The only sucky aspect about living in the united states (or any predominately not muslim country)is that we have to go on with our normal lives... Work, school, gym, sports, and so forth. I will never forget playing basketball while fasting... oh the dehydration... I live off of Gatorade and similar sports drinks all during 'non-fasting hours'.

Overseas, LITERALLY, everything is closed ALL DAY and open ALL NIGHT. Now, I don't think that's exactly a good idea, because I mean, seriously? Shopping at 3am? But it does get convenient... Literally, people just stay at home all day and do nothing. Now, I wonder, doesn't that abuse the concept of Ramadan....? Isn't ramadan about doing everything you're supposed to be doing with extra prayers and fasting on top... I feel like overseas they've deconstructed the whole concept of ramadan... It's like, who cares that the concept of the day is for the living... :x

But sunset over seas is sooo much earlier!!! I just found out that in Saudi people break their fast at 6:20pm!!! THAT'S 2 HOURS AND 20 MINUTES BEFORE US IN MICHIGAN! Given, though, that Michiganders are at the end of the time zone... :x

Although, dawn does come in earlier overseas, I'd rather take earlier dawn that later sunset... come on now... eat... sleep... wake up at a normal time like 8am... rather than... still wake up at 8am and fast an extra hour...

Anyway, I was just thinking about the fact that maybe we just need to let things go, and literally just ride the waves. Live life, do what we do, and throw the rest up to God. God's got our back.

So why stress that menial things of life. Why focus on the unimportant details. Lately, I feel like "poopers, people have no clue"... People are so preoccupied about things that really, have no true value. I feel like we need to go back to our roots and realize, that as social beings, we need to be there for one another. We need to focus on developing each other and helping each other to attain what you may call 'enlightenment' 'nirvana' 'peace' 'tranquility'... but really, what I call, 'true happiness'.

So this month, ramadan, I ask you... ask yourself the question, and be honest to yourself (and if you want to post it to me ;) ) what truly makes you happy. If you think the answer may change by tomorrow, then maybe you should write it down and watch the trend of happiness change... Is happiness something that is triggered by a constant thing or is it by temporary things.

Today: What truly makes me happy? Well, it's a tough question.. But at the moment, I'd say: seeing my friends together and supporting one another makes me really happy... that and... TWIZZLERS!

peace
-reem

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Quran Burning. hate.

Peace all,
So, it took me about a week to get my mind wrapped around this Quran burning event thing.

If you don't know anything about it, check this out.

At first I was pissed. I mean, 1.5 billion muslims are pissed, and maybe just as many non-muslims. But then I realized, it is not anger that I feel. But something akin to regret. How have we, as a human race, got to this point of ignorance?

I do understand that there are a handful of people who instigate problems. These problems have major repercussions. The ripple effect caused by the few is like an amplifier on steroids with the current media. We're bombarded left and right, up and down, and everything in between, with what to think, what to do, who to blame and so forth.

And I think back to 9-11. Unfortunately, many people lost their lives because of the horrendous actions of a few. But what the muslim community (and those who may 'look' muslim but are not) have faced is almost as bad. We have indoctrinated muslim Americans to feel like they did cause 9/11. Like their faith was to blame. Till this day, I feel guilt for something I never condoned, never contributed to, and would never in my life support. (If you've met me, you'd know how much of a peace-loving hippie I am).

So, back to the topic at hand. Regret.
Why do I feel regret about the Gainsville, FL church burning the Qurans? It is because we have, like the 9/11 indoctrinations of guilt, indoctrinated our people with hate. We no longer encourage empathy and understanding, but hate and conflict. We blame others for our problems, and lash out like children. We think of politics, and automatically we think of warfare. What happened to nurturing wo/mankind to 'do onto others what you wish for yourself'. So, what is this Gainsville religious leader encouraging? Every other faith, except his denomination of Christianity to burn bibles? No! Of course not!!!
WE NEED TO ADVOCATE FOR EMPATHY, UNDERSTANDING, AND A COMMON WILL TO WORK TOWARDS CREATING A BETTER ENVIRONMENT!
Why burn Qurans, when you can teach people to read? Why burn Qurans, when you can build schools and community centers? Why fuel the people with hate, rather than love? Why teach people how to disrespect others, and in turn disrespect themselves.

So, yes. I feel regret. That our country is plagued with a disease called hate. Why did we not see this coming? What medical preventive measures could we have taken in order to nurture a healthy populace rather than a disease-ridden one?





I wish we could invest in the mental health of our people. We really need to analyze ourselves, just as frequently as we would check up with our PCP.

I ask, that anyone who may have read this post to eradicate hate with empathy, love and understanding. Please learn to practice these three qualities, even at the most basic of interactions. It takes one-on-one action to change the condition of people.

Also, check this out: 'National Don't Burn a Quran, Read a Bible' Day.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Nostalgia

Evening,

There is just so much I can talk/type about, but I'm not in the mood.

I mean, I can discuss how the whole Quran Burning thing on 9/11 is such a load of BS, and that it is exactly such mentalities that perpetuate hate, discontent, misunderstanding, and conflict.

I can talk about the Michigan oil spill and how our country really needs to get it's act together, and find an alternative environmentally friendly fuel.

I can ramble on and on about how Justin Bieber, the singer, you know, who hasn't hit puberty yet, wants to write a memoir... "first step 2 forever." are you kidding me???? what kind of tacky pooper name is that? and Who really cares what he's done in his 'oh so lengthy' life? Really now, can't he just blog like everyone... but that's besides the point...

I can talk about Obama's Iraq withdrawal plan http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10839342

or

The 2.5 million people in pakistan being affected by these insane floods http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-10834414

or even

Russia's State of Emergency over wildfires http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-10836281

But really, what I want to talk about is this feeling of Nostalgia that I've been experiencing.

Lately, I feel like nostalgic of things I've never even experienced. Like I'll think... that makes me nostalgic, but I have no idea what the thing is, nor why I feel that way. It's like some sort of memory teases my senses, but doesn't fully manifest. I am left with this fleeting emotion that tickles my mind, attempting to wring some sort of happening from my thoughts. But, alas, those experiences are absent. Those feelings are being drawn out of air. I have no idea where this nostalgia is coming from, nor to what it is being directed towards.

I hope I am still sane.

Has this every happened to you?
Something similar? Something totally different?

peace
-reem

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

too muslim to be punk




Well hello there world,

I don't know how to begin this post, given that I haven't written in a couple of weeks, and apparently this online relationship thing isn't working out too well. Yes, blogspot, I have missed you... But we're not exactly two peas in a pod... It's more like, I have neglected you, and now I beg... please, please take me back....
Anyway, now that I've gotten that out of my system...




I was told the other day, that I am too muslim to be punk...


According to dictionary.com punk means a lot of things, however the definition that I am referring to is:
"a style or movement characterized by the adoption of aggressively unconventional and often bizarre or shocking clothing, hairstyles, makeup, etc., and the defiance of social norms of behavior, usually associated with punk rock musicians and fans."


and well Islam, according to dictionary.com means:

the religious faith of Muslims, based on the words and religious system founded by the prophet Muhammad and taught by the Koran, the basic principle of which is absolute submission to a unique and personal god, Allah.



Honestly, okay so... I defy the norm. So, how is that so wrong? I mean, doesn't me being muslim in America kinda mean I am punk, without even the clothing or the styles, or even the music associated with punk culture...
I mean,essentially, I do not follow the norms of the society I live in... *gasp***
does that mean??? what I think it means???

I don't have to be punk.... to be punk!!!!!

Anyway, so what??? I wear black... with t-shirts with witty statements... and bracelets that reach mid arm... converse/worker boots and well... I have droopy kohl on... and I listen to bands like the offspring, billy talent, sugarcult, and nirvana. :x

So, who cares? If I am a punk by nature (relative to the society i live in) then why is it such a problem that I dress by that culture. I mean, technically... If you have a standard of dress, and a culture you adopted... then, doesn't it mean, that you are idiosyncratic... or oxymoronic... because, shouldn't you be defying anything and everything with norms????

SO YES!!! STAND UP AND SCREAM!!! DEFY THE NORM!!!!

but if you listen to me... well, then you're just adhering to my standards/expectations/norms...

So, what is this post about really???

It is about thinking for yourself... dressing the way you want and the way you like to look. And creating your own standards... without anyone force-feeding them to you.

So, if you like to wear a polo and kaki's but it is nothing but your decision. Then go for it... and if you want to wear bright orange parachute pants and a lime green top.... then, if that's what makes you do a jig, then go for it as well!

The reality is... there is no anarchical society... there is no normless world... every utopia is in essence a dystopia. Every person who screams out!!! DEFY THE NORM, is just causing a ripple effect of new norms to follow. I mean, think about it... 20 years ago, no one, I mean NO ONE would ever walk around all punked up... but suddenly, it has become the style... can you believe all of the accessories that you can buy from Claires that is just sooo punk??? Remember when Hot Topic was the only place you can buy those leather bracelets with the metal studs on them??? Well guess what??? I bought 2 from syria last summer for $0.10 each!!! I mean, seriously??? I walked into a punk store in the middle of OLD DAMASCUS!!!!

So, embrace your inner eccentricity...
Be true to who you are and who you want to be, rather than who or what society wants you to be. And if you want to be, just like everyone else... then no one is going to stop you.

But if someone tells you... you're too muslim to be punk.... walk off... and flip them... THE PEACE SIGN!!! \\//

booya.

PEACE
-reem