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Anyway, I've noticed, after moving to Michigan, that not many siblings hangout together. I mean, maybe they do at home. But out publicly, with friends, it's like sisters don't know each other. I don't understand this dynamic. But similarly, people don't understand the dynamic between me and my sister (or even my brother have, here in Michigan).
I grew up in a society or a culture, where siblings hung out together with their friends. So, my friends and my sister and her friends would hangout, some of which would bring their siblings (or cousins) along with them. So, you have a group of people hanging out, anywhere between the ages of 12 and 30.
I noticed that in the metro Detroit area, no siblings (or very few) actually know each others friends, let alone hang out with them. And I'll be honest, I have nooooo idea who my brother's friends are after moving here... They'll come over, go straight into his room (which is like 2 feet from mine) and never even tell me their names. I DON'T KNOW THERE NAMES!!! and I find this phenomenon very SCARY!
I mean, think of it from my perspective, my brother's friends were close enough to be my friends, same with my sister's friends, same with my friends to their friends and so on. We were essentially one big "happy" family. Okay, not quite, of course every group of friends has their drama, but we actually hung out.
Now, people keep remarking on how weird/interesting (great how those are interchangeable, huh?) my sister and I are. That we have an interesting sibling dynamic. I'll be honest, I love my sister. I love her as a best friend, as a sibling, as a role model, and as an artist. I am not embarrassed to hang out with her, or my (really embarrassing) brother.
Anyway, it just bugs me how people don't treat their family as worthy to have fun, outside of those 'family activities'. So, the following is a list of why siblings and friends should mix:
1- The mix of ages. This will cause a natural peer mentoring system, where youngsters will be influenced by the elders. This may have negative effects, but in my experience, it's been more positive. So, my friend's cousins who are like 12 have been really influenced by us. Similarly, it taught us (college-aged folk) to truly respect and value the younger ones.
2- The mix of genders. Honestly, not many muslims know how to interact with the 'opposite' gender because they come from a cultural norm where we should be 'separate' but 'equitable'. I feel like, when you have that mix of friends, with your siblings involved, you learn how to interact comfortably, without any stigma (or "God forbid" reputation lashing from the community).
3- Group dynamic skills. Okay, don't laugh at me, but seriously, all you 'single sibling-ed' people, will learn how to be around more people. But, most importantly, you develop a group that you feel you may belong to, that hopefully, isn't discriminatory against age, race, or gender. As well as, you learn to interact with people beyond the mere 'tit-for-tat' experience.
4- Memories. I'm sorry Michiganders who have not yet adopted this pro-sibling lifestyle, but you will have the greatest memories with your friends. Because, your relationship cannot be superficial due to so many familial connections. And due to that, you have so much fun doing absolutely nothing, except pulling out like 2 decks of cards and playing SPOONS with 15 people.
5- Family becomes fun. So, if you're stuck with those boring parents, or boring siblings, you have a model of what kind of fun you can have with your families. You also, learn how to interact better with your own family. Watching my friends interact with their families, made me understand my own familial relationships so much better. Anyway, if you wanna get away at 2 o'clock in the morning, all you need to tell your parents is "ROUBA IS COMING WITH ME" and "WE'RE GOING TO FATIMA'S HOUSE TILL FAJR, ALL HER COUSINS ARE THERE"... so, you have an easy get away, with a family member in tow.
Well, those were only 5, but this post is now getting lengthy.
So, my recommendation is... Stop hating on me and my buddy buddy family, and start hanging out with yours (publicly, with friends). So, if you're going bowling with your friends, invite your mom's (or if you're still reserved about that, your sisters) along. At first, it maybe awkward, but later on, you really look back and think, wow, I did things right.
1 comment:
That's true.
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