Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Marraige Preoccupation

So, my last post I talked about being sick of something...
and I've realized that I am annoyed with something else... (not to be negative).

Will the people who are soooo pre-occupied with marriage just shut up?!
Do me a favor and just hide in a hole where no one can find you...
(okay that was a joke... insert LOL here)

Anyway, I have always had the mentality (probably developed by my father) that my main occupation/preoccupation should be my self-development and social development. If I was to be anything, it should be something that I choose to be and pursue it to the best of my ability. These goals should be determined by 2 factors: 1) Will it benefit society? 2) Will it bring you closer to God.
Now, I have gone into a career (academia), in which, according to my professors, I'll be married to my research. Now, I know, without a doubt, that I can manage a social life and the life as a researcher/teacher/academic, while being happy and balanced... So, why can't people just let it go. It's like they're a dog with a bone, and just won't let it go.

Apparently, I am un-marriageable (not that I care) because i "am too friendly (and sporty)... and therefore, one of the guys"... I ♥ how honest people can be... :x
that is what triggered this post...

It just annoys me lately that people are so preoccupied with marriage. Sure, people are getting married, finding love, sharing lives and what not and that's great. But that isn't my main goal in life. If you choose your main goal to be married with kids, then so be it. But my main goal is to live a happy life within the boundaries that God ordained for me. To enjoin good and forbid evil, work towards a just/equal/fair society, and to get closer to God. Now, I'm not saying I don't want to get married. But what I am saying is: once it happens, it'll happen. Don't dictate my goals or assume that marriage is my 'end point'.

Anyway, this post is just to say that, marriage/civil unions are beautiful. Don't make it something dreadful. When it happens, it'll happen. Don't rush life. Just let it go on. When I find the right person, I will find them, and God's got my back.

That's it.


Friday, June 18, 2010

hijab. yeah. sure. whatever.

Peace and hello.

Well, this is probably something I have posted about in the past... but I guess I will be posting about it again, given that I have had this blog for a couple of years now. ;)

Hijab... (the head scarf and modest clothing a muslim women may wear).

I am not going to explain (other than that one statement) what hijab is. However, I am going to talk about it, to an extent.

Really, I understand that hijab is a public manifestation and symbol of faith that muslim women portray if they wear it. I understand it is a trigger in which people begin to question you about your faith, whether it is positively or negatively. I understand that it is something that does not subscribe to the norm of what an American woman may look like in American society. So, I understand when people ask me about it.

However, I am so sick of it... really sick of it... Why?

---and guys... i'm sorry... but you have never experienced hijab... so you can never fully (maybe partially) understand why I may feel like this, or why another hijabi might (not necessarily all though).---

Well, do you like being questioned about why you wore purple socks instead of green ones? Or why you are wearing shorts instead of pants? Or how about why you're wearing a button up instead of a t-shirt? Sure, maybe once in while, you can deal with it.... but on an almost daily basis (sometimes multiple times a day)... It really does get annoying..

I don't mind people asking me about my faith... but questioning me in a manner that pushes me on the defensive, will really push my buttons. I am sick of it. I want people to understand: HIJABI's ARE NOT AUTOMATED COMPUTER SYSTEMS WITH NO EMOTIONS. At some point, we get sick of people asking us the same questions all the time. I know that something that seems so natural, so common sense to us, may not be the same for others... but I ask:

If you want to know about why we wear hijab, ask... but if you want to argue with us, get over yourself. You will never understand it, never comprehend it, until you practice it, experience it...

Just as people question how I can run around and play sports in long sleeves all summer long, I question how they can prance around in booty shorts with all their cellulite hanging out... (okay, fine not everyone, but you know where i'm getting at).. However, I do not attack your beliefs... I do not question your independence, liberty, or choices. I will respect you, even if you're in "daisy dukes with a bikini on top" (if you're a guy... well, you chose that apparel, what can I do?).

All I can say is:

Let people make their own choices. Let them develop their own experiences. Let them live without being questioned constantly.

The Quran says: "There is no compulsion in religion" meaning, no muslim (or non-muslim) should be forced to do anything, except which they choose to do themselves. There are repercussions for your actions, sure, depending on the legal system in which you are a constituent of. Therefore, do not force anyone to live by your standards...

The point of my post is essentially, that^^
Do not force anyone to live by your standards...

I wear hijab, because I choose to.
You may wear purple socks, because you choose to.
The reasons may be different. But the right to choose is pretty much the same.