Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Marraige Preoccupation

So, my last post I talked about being sick of something...
and I've realized that I am annoyed with something else... (not to be negative).

Will the people who are soooo pre-occupied with marriage just shut up?!
Do me a favor and just hide in a hole where no one can find you...
(okay that was a joke... insert LOL here)

Anyway, I have always had the mentality (probably developed by my father) that my main occupation/preoccupation should be my self-development and social development. If I was to be anything, it should be something that I choose to be and pursue it to the best of my ability. These goals should be determined by 2 factors: 1) Will it benefit society? 2) Will it bring you closer to God.
Now, I have gone into a career (academia), in which, according to my professors, I'll be married to my research. Now, I know, without a doubt, that I can manage a social life and the life as a researcher/teacher/academic, while being happy and balanced... So, why can't people just let it go. It's like they're a dog with a bone, and just won't let it go.

Apparently, I am un-marriageable (not that I care) because i "am too friendly (and sporty)... and therefore, one of the guys"... I ♥ how honest people can be... :x
that is what triggered this post...

It just annoys me lately that people are so preoccupied with marriage. Sure, people are getting married, finding love, sharing lives and what not and that's great. But that isn't my main goal in life. If you choose your main goal to be married with kids, then so be it. But my main goal is to live a happy life within the boundaries that God ordained for me. To enjoin good and forbid evil, work towards a just/equal/fair society, and to get closer to God. Now, I'm not saying I don't want to get married. But what I am saying is: once it happens, it'll happen. Don't dictate my goals or assume that marriage is my 'end point'.

Anyway, this post is just to say that, marriage/civil unions are beautiful. Don't make it something dreadful. When it happens, it'll happen. Don't rush life. Just let it go on. When I find the right person, I will find them, and God's got my back.

That's it.



Constructive Attitude said...

omg. i completely agree with you. i hateeeeeeeeeeeee this topic. aldfjalsjf

and i wanted to write about it, but i just dont even wanna talk about it. it frustrates me. and i do not think you are unmarriageable. whoever said that is an idiot.

what exactly is marriageable then?

Aya Sallat said...

you're funny haha. im guilty, i know ;)

But you know marriage is also an act of ibaadah and if you pursue it for the purpose of pleasing Allah, then it is something you are rewarded for.

However, you are right in the fact that it shouldn't completely take you away from the rest of your life. Balance is key. Allah does rank certain things over others and its important for us to learn about that.

anyway, i think your marriageable so guys dont be shy... (lol)

Falling Up said...

oh sigh
I hate when people who are getting married talk about their wedding planning ALL.THE.TIME. THAT is annoying. DO NOT put two of these types of people in the same outing. it'll result in severe suicidal boredom.

Aishah Salmah said...

WOW-I absolutely love you for this.
It saddens me immensely when people have one topic to talk about-marriage, when they're getting married and how they plan on doing it. Oh, and their marriage prospects. It's like stfu, I get it, you copped yourself a male and now just go stfu and become a bridezilla just not anywhere near me.
It's EXTREMELY sad when Muslim girls make marriage their number one goal in life. It honestly angers me because not only are you throwing away so much potential but you're also handicapping yourself from taking care of yourself in case something happens to your husband. The best help is self-help, not dependence on someone that could easily leave you or just keel over and pass away any second.
Just my two cents.
But thumbs up to you.
And who cares what people think about you-I think you're incredible the way you are.

Dima sallat said...

InshaAllah we all get married when the day comes(yes you first ;) )

I joke around saying it. But really, I would love to finish schoool, start a job and figure out myself knowing that im happy with it, until i want to consider that.

Reem i really love reading your post, it makes it easy for me understand stuff and think for myself :D