Friday, August 24, 2012

beautiful eyes and undying hope

I am not vain. I promise I am not. I hope I'm not arrogant or stuck up... I try not to be. But sometimes you need to blog about incidents that occur, because they are significant to your day.

It is still relatively early... I mean, it is only 10:30am.

Anyway, as I was purchasing my cup of coffee, a person in line turned towards me and told me.... "wow. You have really beautiful eyes."

And if you know me, like REALLY know me, I am HORRIBLE with compliments. For a long time, I would just stand in shock. Others, I would deny it because I sincerely believed they were wrong and it was just flatter. But after living with two really great friends, who will not be named for the purpose of anonymity, they daily complimented me until I could finally just smile and say "thank you".

Well, this time, I did just that. I smiled to this absolute stranger and said "Thank you"... except he said "you probably get that all the time..." and all I could do was say "i guess...." ---> I don't... get it all the time. Yes, by people who are close enough, literally physically close enough, but not all the time.

Any how, this post isn't to tell the world I have beautiful eyes, because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I love LOVE LOVE, chocolate brown eyes. There is something about them. But, that is besides the point. This post is about connecting one experience to thousands of others.

1) There is so much hate in the world, so much violence -- take a look at Syria, Burma, NYC (THIS MORNING AT THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING!), Norway, and so forth. I think, that when confronting so much negativity, find something in someone, a quality (not necessarily a physical feature) that you find beautiful. For me, that person's compliment reminded me about the amazing dedication and sweetness of my two friends to build my self-esteem (as well as get over much awkwardness).

2) Be sincere. Sincerity, I believe, reflects passion. Sincerity of a word, a smile, an action, a commitment is no simple matter. The person from this morning reminded me of my mother, whom like all others, can drive me up the wall crazy. But the sincerity she has towards helping me move forward, will (hopefully) always be clear to me. That she is sincere in loving me. I mean, she spent so many days over the last month, making my favorite types of sweets, dinners, and so forth. And when I was being picky, she just laughed it off and offered me what was available. I don't know why, but I feel like sincerity can stir the world into empathy, passion, and action towards the betterment of society.

3) Awkwardness is okay. I mean, think about how awkward we are. I used to think I was super weird, super awkward, an oddball really; mostly because people always told me that I was, and supplemented it with some statement I had just uttered. But one day, I realized, everyone is weird. Who cares. Just do what you do and in the end, you'll be okay. Because, ultimately, I can awkwardly smile at the man this morning, or I could be nonchalant about it, but in the end, you are going to take your experiences (normal as they may seem) and turn it into a moment of mind-boggling discovery.

4) Sometimes, you just need a pick me up, the little things that make you feel "bubbly" (and no I am not talking about drinking the bubbly), and appreciate the simplicity of contentment. For me, I got four. I had breakfast with the parentals. I went to the gym. Stood in line to get a coffee (you know how I am about my coffee). And got a nice compliment. I'd like to point out that I've been having these really bad stomach pains all morning... and these four 'pick me ups' got be bustling with energy. Pushed me back into motion. I've been stuck in transition, in neutral, at a moment of stagnation, and now I've been propelled forward. Accept the 'pick me ups' no matter how random they may seem, or mundane. You need to see these seemingly normal activities as something that makes you happy. If you are forever cynical, critical, and down -- the most beautiful of experiences, may be lost on you, because you've forgotten how to appreciate the little things.

5) I could go on forever. I tend to interpret and reinterpret things, fold them, cut them up in my mind, and re-piece them together. Anyway, this last one is share with the world. Share your thoughts, your sincerity, your awkwardness, your bubbliness (and your downs in order to get all the frustration out), your love, your fears... really, just share your essence. I think we all have something to offer to someone else. Whether it is a smile or a fat check. This morning, I felt like I was blessed by someone's words. It changed my mood from heart ache to hope. I thought about the destruction in Syria and felt only despair. But now, my hope is back and brighter than ever. I felt anger towards the shooters in NYC, and now I feel potential for change. I felt frustration towards the massacres in Burma, and now I feel the excitement of raising awareness, of activism. This morning rekindled my buoyancy, my faith, my energy in sharing myself with the world.

I pray that I can try to try.

Really, I think that man had beautiful eyes, not me. Because he was able to see a person who was holding onto a lifeline of pessimism. It was like he looked back into the past to the beginning of humanity, and looked far into the future of mankind and saw undying hope.


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