when i'm 30, iA

So, I just came across (or was encouraged to read... however put):
http://reinventingsandyb.wordpress.com/the-list/
and
http://symphonic-discord.blogspot.com/2009/11/my-list.html
which is essentially a list of things a friend wants to do before the time she's 30 years old.... She wrote this 4 years ago...
I decided, I'll make a list too... maybe in 8 years at least 1/10th would be completed...iA

1- To memorize the Quran with understanding
2- To finish one of my many novels, and actually get it published
3- To teach 5 people tajweed
4- To teach at Harvard University, Ancient Political Thought as well as Feminist Political Theory
5- To walk from Detroit to Boston
6- To go back packing in Europe
7- To learn french, german, spanish, urdu, persian, hebrew, and japanese. (at least to just speak)
8- To run 15 miles in one day
9- To spend a day without worries
10- To own a drink shop, and make EVERYTHING but in 'virgin'
11- To publish a poetry chap book
12- To get onto DEF Poetry
13- To learn how to 'TRULY' break dance
14- To marry a man who can supply me with a life time support of diet creme soda and twizzlers
15- to accept myself
16- to get an ijaza in memorization and tajweed
17- to run the boston/detroit marathon
18- to ride a horse, camel, and a mustang (the car)
19- to send out anonymous letters to all my loved ones now, in 8 years.
20- to record a spoken word CD
21- to learn how to perfect the art of Good rice
22- to keep in contact with my cousin in syria
23- to become a political analyst for BBC or Aljazeera
24- to translate a book of Nizar Qabani's Poetry into english
25- to go on a REAL cruise
26- to relearn history
27- to learn to FOCUS
28- to live by what I truly believe in
29- to truly believe in something without doubts or worries
30- to build some self esteem.

I know... wow... I wonder how much you learned about me.... :s

Anyway, that's about it...
salam
-reem

how would you feel?

Today, I was thinking about how musicians are so oblivious of their fans. Like, the true impact they have on their following. I go into phases where I will listen to the same band over and over again, until I feel like their music is my music. Until their lyrics are my thoughts. Till their emotions become my own. I feel like I have a personal connection with them. It scared me, my realization of this. I kept thinking about how, someone's voice, a voice that I listen to multiple times daily, has no idea I listen to them, unless I choose to become stalker-ish and join a fan club. But honestly, it scared me. Lately, I've been thinking about writing some songs, probably a mix between punk/emo/rock/rap.
I know, I know... different genres, but the question is.... Would people even listen to it? Would my words affect someone, as much as Billy Talent, The Offspring, Rise Against, Maroon 5, Nirvana, BareNakedLadies, Garbage, Evanascence, Breaking Benjamin or Hawthorne Heights affects me? Sometimes, I feel like, do they know that their music builds upon my soul, wraps around my heart, and filters through my thoughts? Would I ever be able to accomplish that? Not that I'm a good singer at all (haha, I suck like whoa), but imagine hearing your own voice on the radio, and thinking that your voice, without you knowing is playing in someone elses head.... not your own.... That your thoughts have been publically announced to everyone in the world you can buy you. You've been bought.... Aren't words supposed to be free ?
Isn't that another discussion completely? I mean, it's one thing to have someone hear you when you don't want them to, but to have your intimate emotions bought. I mean, as a poet (if i can call myself one, i don't think i've earned that title yet), I like my thoughts getting across to people for free (obviously, unless there is an open mic fee), but then, how do you support your art? Hand out free CD's? Uhhhhh, no. Hi, might I remind you that I'm broke.... How about load music/poems onto your Facebook/myspace page.... but then you remember that no one ever accesses your page...
Back to my original point.... I can't imagine a person listening to me whenever they wanted to, without asking me.... Someone subscribing to my most intimate emotions, without my ever being aware....
So I ask this.... Oh Artists of the World.... how does it feel, when someone out there, knows exactly how you felt, but you don't know who it is? How does it feel, to know that someone loves you (your work), but that love is unrequited...?
The question burns down to.... How does it feel, knowing that someone knows your deepest emotion, but you've never even met the person, let alone spoke to them, for them to get to know you well enough, to know your deeper emotions?

sleepover + extra stories

Okay.... this was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo embarrassing for me... but I had to post it....

So, my sister and I slept over my maternal grandparents house last night. My grandparents.... well are... you know... wicked old.... yet, mashaAllah, so youthful and independent. So... this morning... we're supposed to wake up at like 4 am to have breakfast, before fasting the whole day. And I forgot to tell my grandmother that, you know, we have cell phones that can wake us up. (we slept in a 1 room apartment over their home). So, all of a sudden, there's this knocking at our door.... and sure as butterflies, i see my 90something year old grandfather standing at the door with his walking stick, waking us up. I was SHOCKED!!!!!!!!!!! My grandparents have like 12 grandchildren living in the same building... yet, he himself came up 2 flights of stairs.... to wake me and my sister up (who are both... in our 20's). It made me feel soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo embarrassed. But not only that. I felt awe. I'm sooo proud of my grandparents. They're so independent and healthy for people who are like 90... and when i say 90... i mean literally... 90...
My grandfather, goes to work daily... and he doesn't even complain... it makes me feel sooo proud. But anyway, that was it... I couldn't get over it this morning.... that my grandfather, who I should be at his beck and call, you know doing all that I can to in a way serve him, you know make him comfortable, went out of his way to help my sister and I.

Thoughts?

---

#2....

footsie....some random guy sitting behind us on the bus... started playing footsie with rouba.... she got sooo pissed, that she like was ready to stomp on his foot. So, I did what I do best, started talking really loud about how people should try and keep their distance. You know, I was subtle.....
Anyway, rouba was like.... 'pssstt... reem... he's still doing it!' so I was like 'oh my God!' all valley girl like.... anyway... fast forward 10 minutes later... creeper, is waiting to get off the bus and is grinning like an idiot at us... so I'm like 'rouba... is that the guy who was sitting behind you?' and she's like 'yeah... why is he staring/grinning at us' and the bus stops... and really loud, while walking by our window, all high pitched he goes 'OH MY GOD!'

----

#3

We were in a cab.... and they guy kept on trying to get rouba to talk... he knew there was something wrong with her.... so, in order to fish out if we were foreigners or not... He started quizzing us on you know 'area's' so... thank God, we were near my grandparents house, part of old Aleppo, and I knew a lot of the main area's because my dad told me about them recently (like 3 months ago)... and so I'm like... oh that's baab al-jnaan (a veggie/fruit vending market), and that's sab3 bahrat (like this fountain, that has 7 springs)... and I keep going... in the end he asked me if my friend next to me was mute.... and rouba heard 'if my retarded friend is mute'... she was sooo offended it was hilarious.... but he said... next to me... not retarded (in Arabic, they have similar beginning and ending letters)... in the end i was like 'sir, we don't talk to strange men' and he was like 'you guys are my trust, i need to ensure your safety, that's why you got in my cab'... he also told me he wasn't a sleaze... and that he had a wife and kids so that we don't have to worry about him.... it was... an overall interesting experience....

that's about it....

peace
-reem

PRAYER ON SPEED

Salam,

So... I had a major culture shock recently.
My whole life I prayed tarawih (which is an optional prayer Muslims pray during the month of Ramadan in the evening), at Sharon mosque in Sharon, MA. Where each rakah (i don't know how to translate that work, but each repetition i guess) took about 15 minutes, and they prayed 8, reciting about 2.5-3 pages of quran per rakah. You prayed so slowly, and calmly, it was soothing to the soul. It was tiring, but soothing. Then I moved to michigan, where our mosque prays 20 rakah's, reciting about 1 page per rakah. It too was soothing, calming, and what not. They recite at a steady, slow pace. You feel relaxed, not tired or overwhelmed. If you get tired, you can stop half way through (around 8 rakah's), and you fulfilled the optional suggested amount.

Recently, I prayed my first tarawih prayer in Syria. And I think I had a heart attack. I swear I didn't expect it. We were praying Isha, and it was all calm and serene. About half a page recited in the rakah. And I was like, hmmm... I can handle this. Then... all of a sudden we're praying tarawih... and it's like PRAYER ON SPEED!
I turned to my sister, who is also having this culture shock, after our first prayer (we pray in reps of 2, break, then start another rep), and we started cracking up. We were sooooo confused! The dude recited the quran SUPER fast... and we were like WHAT JUST HAPPENED???? Then, he recited ONLY 1 verse.... per rakah. Which means, each prayer took about 2 minutes at average. Yes... what just happened we don't even know. People were getting ready to go into the motions, before the Imam (the leader). I could not believe it. It was such a major culture shock.

and it PISSED ME OFF!

I mean, prayer is supposed to be calming, like meditation. You're supposed to reflect upon the verses read. You're supposed to open up your mind, and converse with God. You're supposed to breath. I think... our prayer was none of that. It was frustrating. Fast paced. And heart attack inducing. :s

Anyhow. I got so annoyed, that I had to leave after 8 rakah's. I decided, I'm gonna check out other mosques, but I was told most mosques here pray like that, except a handful :(.

So, I had a major culture shock. I felt prayer, in a country where the majority is muslim, was extremely mechanical. It was a quantity, not quality mind frame. Now, I understand why my brother prays at home. At least, he can benefit by praying tarawih on his own.

Well, anyway... I had to write a blog about it... because I was in legit shock.

I hope people will not pray like they're on speed.

Have a good day... :s

peace.
-reem

Polsci 101-- funny

Salam,
I thought this was hilarious, but undeniably true. I may be a geek, but i got a kick out of it, and thought it'd be good to share. :)

---

Political Science 101

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

CORPORATE: You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when it drops dead.

DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to pay the taxes to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.

http://www.freemaninstitute.com/polysci101.htm

Ramadan, Obama, and

Good Morning, Salam, Peace, Wassap??? and all the rest.

I know, I know... I haven't written much... I think my last post was almost 2 months ago or something... but I rarely come online anymore... soooo.... (plus, it's not like anyone actually reads my blog.... right?)

Anyhow... I was reading the transcript of Obama's message on/of Ramadan. I thought it was going to be a simple: Hi... Happy Ramadan... type of thing... but of course, with Obama, you never really know.... I mean, he does defy the norm a bit... and I'm all about defying norms... (except when you know, it's harmful).

So, his message is interesting. I have a feeling it was rushed and not thought out well enough... because there's a lot of cliff hangers, like what the heck does iqra mean? and so forth. Maybe because I read a transcript, I don't know if the video was exactly the same (I can't access youtube here)... So, if I comment on something and it turns out that he did or did not discuss it... my bad....

He started with extending best wishes. Then gave a bit of history. Then talked about the cultural festive aspects, then the spiritual, then international relations, then our likeness/sameness, dialogue and finally he peaced out. What does this chain of events tell you? Why is it important? because it's all about connecting.

The bit of history shows that he cares about what concerns the community. Their pride possession is the Quran. They

Ramadan is the month in which Muslims believe the Koran was revealed to the Prophet Muhammad, beginning with a simple word - iqra. It is therefore a time when Muslims reflect upon the wisdom and guidance that comes with faith, and the responsibility that human beings have to one another, and to God.

Like many people of different faiths who have known Ramadan through our communities and families, I know this to be a festive time - a time when families gather, friends host iftars, and meals are shared. But I also know that Ramadan is a time of intense devotion and reflection - a time when Muslims fast during the day and perform tarawih prayers at night, reciting and listening to the entire Koran over the course of the month.

These rituals remind us of the principles that we hold in common, and Islam's role in advancing justice, progress, tolerance, and the dignity of all human beings.

For instance, fasting is a concept shared by many faiths - including my own Christian faith - as a way to bring people closer to God, and to those among us who cannot take their next meal for granted. And the support that Muslims provide to others recalls our responsibility to advance opportunity and prosperity for people everywhere. For all of us must remember that the world we want to build - and the changes that we want to make - must begin in our own hearts, and our own communities.

This summer, people across America have served in their communities - educating children, caring for the sick, and extending a hand to those who have fallen on hard times. Faith-based organizations, including many Islamic organizations, have been at the forefront in participating in this summer of service. And in these challenging times, this is a spirit of responsibility that we must sustain in the months and years to come.

Beyond America's borders, we are also committed to keeping our responsibility to build a world that is more peaceful and secure. That is why we are responsibly ending the war in Iraq. That is why we are isolating violent extremists while empowering the people in places like Afghanistan and Pakistan. That is why we are unyielding in our support for a two-state solution that recognizes the rights of Israelis and Palestinians to live in peace and security. And that is why America will always stand for the universal rights of all people to speak their mind, practice their religion, contribute fully to society and have confidence in the rule of law.

All of these efforts are a part of America's commitment to engage Muslims and Muslim-majority nations on the basis of mutual interest and mutual respect. And at this time of renewal, I want to reiterate my commitment to a new beginning between America and Muslims around the world.

As I said in Cairo, this new beginning must be borne out in a sustained effort to listen to each other, to learn from each other, to respect one another, and to seek common ground. I believe an important part of this is listening, and in the last two months, American embassies around the world have reached out not just to governments, but directly to people in Muslim-majority countries. From around the world, we have received an outpouring of feedback about how America can be a partner on behalf of peoples' aspirations.

We have listened. We have heard you. And like you, we are focused on pursuing concrete actions that will make a difference over time - both in terms of the political and security issues that I have discussed, and in the areas that you have told us will make the most difference in peoples' lives.

These consultations are helping us implement the partnerships that I called for in Cairo - to expand education exchange programs; to foster entrepreneurship and create jobs; and to increase collaboration on science and technology, while supporting literacy and vocational learning. We are also moving forward in partnering with the OIC and OIC member states to eradicate polio, while working closely with the international community to confront common health challenges like H1N1 - which I know is of particular to concern to many Muslims preparing for the upcoming hajj.

All of these efforts are aimed at advancing our common aspirations - to live in peace and security; to get an education and to work with dignity; to love our families, our communities, and our God. It will take time and patient effort. We cannot change things over night, but we can honestly resolve to do what must be done, while setting off in a new direction - toward the destination that we seek for ourselves, and for our children. That is the journey that we must travel together.

I look forward to continuing this critically important dialogue and turning it into action. And today, I want to join with the 1.5 billion Muslims around the world - and your families and friends - in welcoming the beginning of Ramadan, and wishing you a blessed month. May God's peace be upon you.

a much awaited obama post

President Obama's recent speech in Cairo, Egypt, was a much anticipated event. Prior to it's deliverance, people sat at the edge of their seats, both in the Unites States and abroad. There has been an often reiterated ideal that has stamped into the minds and hearts of people, and that is hope. For a long time, hope has been stomped out from the hearts of people, like the stomping out of fire. Being a very charismatic character, Obama's hope has been very contagious, even among skeptics. The question, prior to Obama's speech, was: will this just be another speech like others heard before, or will it truly be the catalyst for change?

I'll be honest, I'm torn at what to think. Maybe I'm a bit of a skeptic, given our history of presidents more recently... Being much talk and deliberation, but very little action. Obama's speech was amazing, magnetic, full of wisdom yet at the same time frustrating. Will he be able to apply all that was said? Was it all a load of BS? Was it consistent? And so forth…

As a student, who just wrote a recent leadership analysis paper for my Masters thesis, I would have to say that Obama's leadership heavily lies in what Weber would call Charismatic, yet at the same time, he might be able to shift into the other two roles of leadership, those being: Legalistic and traditional. I'm not sure how traditional people might think Obama is. Actually, according to many, he completely breaks from tradition. However, I take the opinion that Obama sticks to tradition. Listen or read his speeches. He always uses historical examples to explain contemporary issues. Therefore, I see him as a traditional leader. Using the ideals of the past, but reinterpreting them to fit today. Similarly, I can't help but to confirm his legalistic nature of leadership. I mean, he is the president of the United States... and was (is), before that, a lawyer... I mean... how can you deny his legalistic approach to politics and leadership. According to Weber (who is essentially one of the greatest leadership thinkers of western thought), if one can utilize all these forms of leadership than they are a good leader. But the thing that ties all this back together is whether Obama can follow through with action. Weber says about politics “compromises any kind of independent leadership in action” (Politics as a Vocation). Meaning, political leadership is grounded in action.

This has been the issue since Obama's election as president. People don't know what to expect. Will it be the same old same old... talk about issues... and leave them hanging? How many presidents attempted to solve the Israeli/Palestinian conflict during their leadership and failed to do so? Will this be the same?

I'd like to say, that I don't put my full trust in any human being (including myself) because we're bound to make mistakes... I only fully trust God. I'm not saying that I don't trust Obama, because I do, but I don't think he's infallible, which many people have been making him out to be. Many people, especially Middle Easterners and Muslims, have been skeptic towards Obama because of Israel's inaction towards American pressure against Israeli expansion and the push to freeze settlements. Israel, quite literally, ignored Obama's pressure, and followed through with their own decision. Therefore, how effective will American pressure be now in the region? If America's biggest ally in the region turns a blind eye, then how will states that do not see eye to eye with the United States react? Will this favor badly for Obama?

Let me point out a couple of things... God created the Earth in six days... So, why do people think the world will change instantaneously. Maybe Obama won't be able to get everything he stated done... Maybe he will... But what we need to look at is what he's done so far.

First, he defied American history and became the first black president to govern the United States.
Second, he managed to unite a whole body of people behind him, because of his mixed background. Being that: He is half black and half white. He lived in a war torn, poor environment, and went to some of the best schools in the country. He is a Christian, but grew up among Muslims in Indonesia; and so forth. I'm not saying we're in a post-racial society. Nor am I saying the Obama is epitome of perfection. All I'm saying is that people understand him. He speaks their language. People relate to him because they feel like he is one of them, regardless of background.
Third, in the beginning of his term, he took steps towards the issues on his platforms: the stimulus package, employment issues, the Israeli/Palestinian conflict.
Forth, he defied the norm of society, and said what was on his mind. How many people, would say that America is a pro-Muslim country.... when the majority of Americans believe the stereotype that all/most Muslims are terrorists?
Fifth, he's been under the microscope more thoroughly than Bush was... and is under more scrutiny than Bush was... but it hasn't held him back.
Sixth, he order the close of Guantanamo Bay, and is putting terror suspects through civilian courts in the United States, which gives people (such as family members) a feeling of ease, knowing where and what is happening to their family member.
I can go on.... but... this is getting too long...

So, what was the point of all of this:

I'm not saying everything will be good. There is bound to be mistakes, problems, and questions. Such as the question, why is it okay for America to have Nuclear weapons but Iran cannot? Or... why send American troops to Pakistan where the whole Swat region in Pakistan was ripped apart, only to invest $1.5 billion for the next 5 years? How about the question of pen pals... what's the point? We've been doing it ever since the INTERNET became common....? So why waste money on an already provided enterprise? Or if America now wants to end terrorism, why do they fight terror with terror? As well as, shouldn't issues of peace be negotiated with those causing unrest... therefore, why isn't Obama listening to the demands of Al-Qaeda or other similar groups? These are just a couple of questions that I've heard on the news and came across...

This post is to clarify one thing... Obama is trying what he thinks will be best. However, he is subject to social systems, political systems, eons of history and conflict, and biases. He cannot change everything... but he can, if God Wills it, accelerate change (maybe for the better, maybe for worse). Maybe it'll look like not much happened... but maybe in 50 years or 100 years it will be clear. He may be a bit naive, according to some, but isn't that WAY better than having a corrupt ruler????

I personally believe that Obama is being honest, but honesty doesn't guarantee that everything will change. As a Muslim, I put my trust solely in God. As an American citizen, I trust that God Willed Obama as our president our of His Wisdom....

So... we'll see what happens.

peace
-reem