peace, gym, eating, employees, & empathy

Okay, I am annoyed... for a number of things...
they are, in no specific order:
1- Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize... for "extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and co-operation between peoples".
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8405959.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8405033.stm
I mean, sure he's doing the best that he can, but I feel like something like that needs measurable outcomes. I want to see results. I'm sorry, I just can't help feeling like he's getting rewarded a bit too early... how about 18 months from now?

2- Can't a girl (albiet a muslim girl) go to the gym in peace? (what is it with peace today). Seriously, okay. So, I go to the gym, and this guy comes up to me all cocky and was like "aren't you not allowed to go to the gym in your religion?".... I looked at him... Really trying to absorb his comment... I mean seriously??? First of all, there's an all women's section, which I'll be honest I rarely use, because I feel the walls closing in on me. But, secondly, back off! REALLY?
So, basically, I smiled and was like, actually, my religion believes in physical development as well as spiritual development. Therefore, if we do not ensure our health, we are breaking a covenant with God, in which he entrusted our bodies to us. Then, I was like, you know, with the right intention, well, I'm actually performing a form of worship, so I get brownie points with God. He eyed me all skeptically. Then he was like, but what about the..... *motions frantically around my head*... and I smile again, yes my 'oh so beautiful and understanding smile' and was like... "I'm in baggy sweats, an overly large t-shirt, a hijab. The point of hijab is both physical and spiritual, to cover and be modest. Do I look like I'm flaunting my goods?", he laughed at that. I guess not many hijabi's (girls who wear the scarf), talk like that.
Anyway, he smiled at me, all confused like, and was like, 'I guess I understand'. So I smiled back and was like 'well, I hope to see you around, since I'm at the gym all the time'.
Technically, this was a good 'dawah' (literally means invitation, but basically, information sharing) experience. However, it annoys me, when people assume all this stuff about me, just because I wear a hijab. And I know I'm not the 'victimitis' type, but really back off. I mean, how would people like it if I questioned their beliefs all the time? I guess it comes with being so 'openly' muslim. Maybe, one day, we can break down stereotypes and truly accept people for who they are. (regardless of religion, sex, gender, age, and RACE)

3- Some guy watched me eat an apple today... It was, honestly, a very large apple. It annoyed me... That he was watching me... so I stared back at him. Until he, yes, blushed, and turned away.

4- People do not appreciate employees enough. I was at McDonalds to buy a coffee this morning (on campus), and the workers were sooooo sweet. I just wished they had a tip jar. I swear, people underestimate the value of a sincere thank you. One with eye contact and a smile, attached to it. I've worked in the service industry for about 7 years now, and my best moments were those sincere *thank you's*. They literally make me feel so happy and elated that it moves me to work harder. I hope people should really take a moment and truly thank the person that is serving them, regardless of how hectic of a day you've had.

5- Lack of empathy. I was listening to the news yesterday (NPR) and they were talking about how so many families have been legitly (like not scams) begging online, especially for gifts for the holidays.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=121211164
Apparently, very few have received responses. I've been looking online for some lists, one of which is http://begslist.blogspot.com/. I've decided to go on a mission and look for someone to sponsor for the holiday. I mean, send some toys or clothes. Some people have specific children clothes' sizes. I think we should really feel for them. How would you feel if you couldn't get a loved one something during the holidays. I frequently buy my mom chocolate randomly for suprises, because she loves it, and I'd feel like there would be a hole in my chest, tearing at me if I couldn't get her that. I don't know. There are things like Toys for Tots (i think it's called) and other organizations around that you could support. Please, just buy 1 toy and donate it. Toys are very very cheap sometimes (you can find something from $1-$1,000), so don't think you can't afford it. I mean, go to the dollar store, if you're on a tight budget, but make a child happy this holiday. May a family feel secure, with being able to provide gifts for their children.

I guess that's about it.
Sincerely,
reem

Troops should stay at home

I'm sitting on campus, and have been here since about 7am.... doing pretty much nothing... well, other than literary research on Dubois. Anyhow, I keep thinking about how Obama stated he'll be sending 30,000 troops to Afghanistan. I just can't grasp why we are going to endager the lives of 30,000 individuals, and essentially respective families... in the name of democracy and ensuring stability. I feel like we are enhancing instability within the United States of America, by letting our troops go to fight a war overseas. Our troops are children, college students, fathers, mothers, elders, youngsters, the people who make up the fabric of American society. We are threatening the stability of their lives.
According to the Washington Post, we have had 804 soldiers die in Afghanistan, (not to mention the 4,326 who died in Iraq, totaling to 5,130 just in those two countries alone):
http://projects.washingtonpost.com/fallen/afghanistan/

I mean, think of it, 804 troops out of 3000, that's like what 26%, more than 1/4th of our troops may die. Consider the very basic math that I did. But really, I mean do we want to lose another 804 troops.... Do we really want to lose ONE? I mean, do value human life so lowly nowaday? Is the stability of the household maintain, when the father/mother/daughter/son is lost? I think factors of psychological, economic, social, political, and physical instability arise from the death of one person.

I really really urge President Obama to reconsider the sending of our troops to Afghanistan. Where seeking out Al-Qaeda is like fencing in the dark... It's a game of Hide-N-Seek, where we're blindfolded and earplugged.

Our troops should be protecting our people at home. I mean, The CDC estimated a total of 52,447 deiberan gunshot injuries and 23,237 in the year 2000 alone.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gun_violence_in_the_United_States
MADD states that 11,773 people have died in illegal BAC drunk driving crashes in 2008.
http://www.madd.org/about-us/about-us/statistics.aspx

The CDCP states that moer than 22,000 lives were lost due to OD-ing in 2005.
http://www.cdc.gov/media/subtopic/sme/paulozzi.htm

So, we're just going to be sending our troops to fight a shadowy cause, yet our issues at home are left undiscussed, undiscovered, and unsolved.

I don't know what to say... No, actually I do.... Keep our troops safe. Keep stability within the United States. Fight the injustice that plagues us at home, needless deaths, crime, poverty, homelessness and the like. Let's value the sanctity of human life. Don't send out troops to fight for a borderless and timeless war.

That's all I have to say really.

Feel free to comment.
sincerely,
reem

DAMNED FOR RACISM

I keep thinking lately about you know, philosophical things, well not quite philosophical, but you know... things that are just not truly thought about quite often enough. The concept of freedom. I don't know, maybe it's because I read Du Bois all the time for my research, or maybe it's because I'm sensitive on the issue of racial equality (as in, who the hell do you think you are if you think you're better than people, we're all from the same source)... And it's been bugging me more and more.... Racism... hurts me... internally. :s and people sometimes think it's odd, given that i am (according to wikipedia) white (because I'm you know, from the mideast), that I notice these things.... or feel them. I don't know, maybe I'm just emotional. But yesterday, the issue of race came up multiple times. And I just kept thinking.... why the hell do we (as a society) focus soooo much on race (as being like a definition of who one is)????
In Islam, we believe that ORIGINAL SIN, wasn't Eve eating the apple (Adam and Eve both made the mistake equally), but that Lucifer refused God's command of respect to Adam by bowing to him, on the basis of Adam being made of the Earth and Lucifer of fire. Essentially, original sin is arrogance, but more specifically a racial arrogance. Because you're made of something different, and more to the point look different....
Therefore, the next time you're being racist, biased, or stereotyping, or someone does this in your presence.... you're committing ORIGINAL SIN.... :s and i mean, if Lucifer was damned from the beginning, what'll happen to us?
So, essentially, it's up to you. You decide whether you want to be damned for life (or eternity) or not...
Next time someone does something racist in front of you.... just remember, you're just as damned as he/she is, because SILENCE IS CONSENT.... and you choose to be silent...

Anyway, this is a poem i wrote.... comment away, on anything, it's called:
I kept thinking

I keep thinking that today will start
but it won't end
and text messages on my cell
just won't send
I see the world tipping at a different bend
and i just can't help having to fend
for everyone... but myself
no... yes... maybe I can
but whatever, because
I'm at the end
of my thoughts
free will feels like a a road block
and well, I can't help but to think
that someone else should make decisions for me
no... wait...
I need to make choices
i need to be given choices
what happened to equal opportunity
can I speak, without being free?
am I free?
What is freedom anyway?
elusive as it is, dressed in a cloud of grey...
I think I found the weakest link
in my chain... of thoughts
because they've been derailed
to a place often visited
caged mindset, silent birds
what can I say to make us feel anchored?
infront of me is haze, my view is blurred
by biases... socially constructed hazards
instructed to become masters
in the art of lying
no... dying.... rather sighing
out of discontent
because we've been conditioned
to acquiesce to nothing
to everything but our souls
and I'm trying to figure out how it all unfolds
because the choice is there
we just need to get a hold
of reality
of our choices
and now...
I keep thinking that today will start
but it won't end
and text messages on my cell
just won't send
I see the world tipping at a different bend
that I was angling for
so... I'm gonna jump and scream
till the world leans...
just a fraction in my direction
until then...
the world is hovering
just an inch
beyond
our decisions

when i'm 30, iA

So, I just came across (or was encouraged to read... however put):
http://reinventingsandyb.wordpress.com/the-list/
and
http://symphonic-discord.blogspot.com/2009/11/my-list.html
which is essentially a list of things a friend wants to do before the time she's 30 years old.... She wrote this 4 years ago...
I decided, I'll make a list too... maybe in 8 years at least 1/10th would be completed...iA

1- To memorize the Quran with understanding
2- To finish one of my many novels, and actually get it published
3- To teach 5 people tajweed
4- To teach at Harvard University, Ancient Political Thought as well as Feminist Political Theory
5- To walk from Detroit to Boston
6- To go back packing in Europe
7- To learn french, german, spanish, urdu, persian, hebrew, and japanese. (at least to just speak)
8- To run 15 miles in one day
9- To spend a day without worries
10- To own a drink shop, and make EVERYTHING but in 'virgin'
11- To publish a poetry chap book
12- To get onto DEF Poetry
13- To learn how to 'TRULY' break dance
14- To marry a man who can supply me with a life time support of diet creme soda and twizzlers
15- to accept myself
16- to get an ijaza in memorization and tajweed
17- to run the boston/detroit marathon
18- to ride a horse, camel, and a mustang (the car)
19- to send out anonymous letters to all my loved ones now, in 8 years.
20- to record a spoken word CD
21- to learn how to perfect the art of Good rice
22- to keep in contact with my cousin in syria
23- to become a political analyst for BBC or Aljazeera
24- to translate a book of Nizar Qabani's Poetry into english
25- to go on a REAL cruise
26- to relearn history
27- to learn to FOCUS
28- to live by what I truly believe in
29- to truly believe in something without doubts or worries
30- to build some self esteem.

I know... wow... I wonder how much you learned about me.... :s

Anyway, that's about it...
salam
-reem

how would you feel?

Today, I was thinking about how musicians are so oblivious of their fans. Like, the true impact they have on their following. I go into phases where I will listen to the same band over and over again, until I feel like their music is my music. Until their lyrics are my thoughts. Till their emotions become my own. I feel like I have a personal connection with them. It scared me, my realization of this. I kept thinking about how, someone's voice, a voice that I listen to multiple times daily, has no idea I listen to them, unless I choose to become stalker-ish and join a fan club. But honestly, it scared me. Lately, I've been thinking about writing some songs, probably a mix between punk/emo/rock/rap.
I know, I know... different genres, but the question is.... Would people even listen to it? Would my words affect someone, as much as Billy Talent, The Offspring, Rise Against, Maroon 5, Nirvana, BareNakedLadies, Garbage, Evanascence, Breaking Benjamin or Hawthorne Heights affects me? Sometimes, I feel like, do they know that their music builds upon my soul, wraps around my heart, and filters through my thoughts? Would I ever be able to accomplish that? Not that I'm a good singer at all (haha, I suck like whoa), but imagine hearing your own voice on the radio, and thinking that your voice, without you knowing is playing in someone elses head.... not your own.... That your thoughts have been publically announced to everyone in the world you can buy you. You've been bought.... Aren't words supposed to be free ?
Isn't that another discussion completely? I mean, it's one thing to have someone hear you when you don't want them to, but to have your intimate emotions bought. I mean, as a poet (if i can call myself one, i don't think i've earned that title yet), I like my thoughts getting across to people for free (obviously, unless there is an open mic fee), but then, how do you support your art? Hand out free CD's? Uhhhhh, no. Hi, might I remind you that I'm broke.... How about load music/poems onto your Facebook/myspace page.... but then you remember that no one ever accesses your page...
Back to my original point.... I can't imagine a person listening to me whenever they wanted to, without asking me.... Someone subscribing to my most intimate emotions, without my ever being aware....
So I ask this.... Oh Artists of the World.... how does it feel, when someone out there, knows exactly how you felt, but you don't know who it is? How does it feel, to know that someone loves you (your work), but that love is unrequited...?
The question burns down to.... How does it feel, knowing that someone knows your deepest emotion, but you've never even met the person, let alone spoke to them, for them to get to know you well enough, to know your deeper emotions?

sleepover + extra stories

Okay.... this was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo embarrassing for me... but I had to post it....

So, my sister and I slept over my maternal grandparents house last night. My grandparents.... well are... you know... wicked old.... yet, mashaAllah, so youthful and independent. So... this morning... we're supposed to wake up at like 4 am to have breakfast, before fasting the whole day. And I forgot to tell my grandmother that, you know, we have cell phones that can wake us up. (we slept in a 1 room apartment over their home). So, all of a sudden, there's this knocking at our door.... and sure as butterflies, i see my 90something year old grandfather standing at the door with his walking stick, waking us up. I was SHOCKED!!!!!!!!!!! My grandparents have like 12 grandchildren living in the same building... yet, he himself came up 2 flights of stairs.... to wake me and my sister up (who are both... in our 20's). It made me feel soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo embarrassed. But not only that. I felt awe. I'm sooo proud of my grandparents. They're so independent and healthy for people who are like 90... and when i say 90... i mean literally... 90...
My grandfather, goes to work daily... and he doesn't even complain... it makes me feel sooo proud. But anyway, that was it... I couldn't get over it this morning.... that my grandfather, who I should be at his beck and call, you know doing all that I can to in a way serve him, you know make him comfortable, went out of his way to help my sister and I.

Thoughts?

---

#2....

footsie....some random guy sitting behind us on the bus... started playing footsie with rouba.... she got sooo pissed, that she like was ready to stomp on his foot. So, I did what I do best, started talking really loud about how people should try and keep their distance. You know, I was subtle.....
Anyway, rouba was like.... 'pssstt... reem... he's still doing it!' so I was like 'oh my God!' all valley girl like.... anyway... fast forward 10 minutes later... creeper, is waiting to get off the bus and is grinning like an idiot at us... so I'm like 'rouba... is that the guy who was sitting behind you?' and she's like 'yeah... why is he staring/grinning at us' and the bus stops... and really loud, while walking by our window, all high pitched he goes 'OH MY GOD!'

----

#3

We were in a cab.... and they guy kept on trying to get rouba to talk... he knew there was something wrong with her.... so, in order to fish out if we were foreigners or not... He started quizzing us on you know 'area's' so... thank God, we were near my grandparents house, part of old Aleppo, and I knew a lot of the main area's because my dad told me about them recently (like 3 months ago)... and so I'm like... oh that's baab al-jnaan (a veggie/fruit vending market), and that's sab3 bahrat (like this fountain, that has 7 springs)... and I keep going... in the end he asked me if my friend next to me was mute.... and rouba heard 'if my retarded friend is mute'... she was sooo offended it was hilarious.... but he said... next to me... not retarded (in Arabic, they have similar beginning and ending letters)... in the end i was like 'sir, we don't talk to strange men' and he was like 'you guys are my trust, i need to ensure your safety, that's why you got in my cab'... he also told me he wasn't a sleaze... and that he had a wife and kids so that we don't have to worry about him.... it was... an overall interesting experience....

that's about it....

peace
-reem

PRAYER ON SPEED

Salam,

So... I had a major culture shock recently.
My whole life I prayed tarawih (which is an optional prayer Muslims pray during the month of Ramadan in the evening), at Sharon mosque in Sharon, MA. Where each rakah (i don't know how to translate that work, but each repetition i guess) took about 15 minutes, and they prayed 8, reciting about 2.5-3 pages of quran per rakah. You prayed so slowly, and calmly, it was soothing to the soul. It was tiring, but soothing. Then I moved to michigan, where our mosque prays 20 rakah's, reciting about 1 page per rakah. It too was soothing, calming, and what not. They recite at a steady, slow pace. You feel relaxed, not tired or overwhelmed. If you get tired, you can stop half way through (around 8 rakah's), and you fulfilled the optional suggested amount.

Recently, I prayed my first tarawih prayer in Syria. And I think I had a heart attack. I swear I didn't expect it. We were praying Isha, and it was all calm and serene. About half a page recited in the rakah. And I was like, hmmm... I can handle this. Then... all of a sudden we're praying tarawih... and it's like PRAYER ON SPEED!
I turned to my sister, who is also having this culture shock, after our first prayer (we pray in reps of 2, break, then start another rep), and we started cracking up. We were sooooo confused! The dude recited the quran SUPER fast... and we were like WHAT JUST HAPPENED???? Then, he recited ONLY 1 verse.... per rakah. Which means, each prayer took about 2 minutes at average. Yes... what just happened we don't even know. People were getting ready to go into the motions, before the Imam (the leader). I could not believe it. It was such a major culture shock.

and it PISSED ME OFF!

I mean, prayer is supposed to be calming, like meditation. You're supposed to reflect upon the verses read. You're supposed to open up your mind, and converse with God. You're supposed to breath. I think... our prayer was none of that. It was frustrating. Fast paced. And heart attack inducing. :s

Anyhow. I got so annoyed, that I had to leave after 8 rakah's. I decided, I'm gonna check out other mosques, but I was told most mosques here pray like that, except a handful :(.

So, I had a major culture shock. I felt prayer, in a country where the majority is muslim, was extremely mechanical. It was a quantity, not quality mind frame. Now, I understand why my brother prays at home. At least, he can benefit by praying tarawih on his own.

Well, anyway... I had to write a blog about it... because I was in legit shock.

I hope people will not pray like they're on speed.

Have a good day... :s

peace.
-reem